Pandemic Gardening - Weeds Be Gone!

My Mother had beautiful, well tended gardens.  One of her best friends, Florence also had beautiful gardens on a large gorgeous wooded lot.  I remember as a child, going with my Mother to her home for lunch in the summer.  We would arrive there, walk down the hill to the screened gazebo (this is Minnesota after all and home to killer mosquitos).   I called her Aunt Florence because we spent so much time with them as a family it didn't seem right to call them Mr. and Mrs. Felber.  So they were Aunt Florence and Uncle Harvey.  Yes, I am that old that we called adults Mr. and Mrs. not their first names.  Inevitably, when we would arrive, Aunt Florence would be on her hands and knees at the edge of the garden.  She wore her big floppy hat and was always pulling weeds, digging in the dirt, moving plants to various places in the garden to create her version of beauty.  We always began with a tour of the garden.  The joy and the love Aunt Florence had for those plants was contagious.  She would point out new growth, beautiful blooms and talk about changes she was making to those gardens.

Her table was always impeccable.  Beautiful white floral table cloth and of course a vase of beautiful flowers in the center.   The table was set with beautiful china and all the silverware was placed to appease Miss Manners.  Sandwiches, iced tea with lemon and always a lovely home made pastry for desert.

 We have had the opportunity to do a lot more with our house and our yard this year.   Our neighbors are probably very thankful.  Unfortunately our son was unable to play baseball this summer.  This is probably the first summer in 14 years that we have not spent the majority of the summer on a ball field!

So, our backyard was a DISASTER!

We have a large back bed that has become completely overgrown with grass mostly.   Let me tell you it is A.  Ugly, B.  Hard to mow.  

This year I have taken the time to do much more planting and "playing" in the dirt.  Actually weeding the front beds so that our front yard actually looks decent.

Now on to the backyard.   The first thing we are tackling is that large back bed.   We are a toxic chemical free home as much as possible, so killing weeds safely is a real challenge.

Here is a testimonial from a friend that tried it.

Weed problems? Oh my gosh does this stuff rock!

Do you love our planet? Little changes add up to BIG changes!

Harsh chemicals like Round-Up sprayed on the cracks of the driveway and sidewalks DO make their way into our water supply - where we then ingest them.

Angela ordered this for me the other day and oh my gosh the weeds are just GONE! I believe she sprayed it on straight and 24 hours they were already withered!

I will be taking before and after pictures.   The plan is to spray tonight.   We will then bring in a load (or two) of black dirt.  Nothing like some manual exercise with a shovel and wheelbarrow!

                                                

Here is a link to purchase your own:    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07W9HX3MV/ref=as_sl_pc_qf_sp_asin_til?tag=lhanken-20&linkCode=w00&linkId=4d984cf15d2aa0e59b2fdd1d209ae600&creativeASIN=B07W9HX3MV

During these crazy times, we are always looking for ways to naturally boost our immune system.   Vitamin D has been shown to naturally boost your immunity.  The best way to get Vitamin D naturally is through sunshine!    

Here is a great article on how gardening actually can make you HAPPY.   https://www.gardeningknowhow.com/garden-how-to/soil-fertilizers/antidepressant-microbes-soil.htm

Working in the soil is good for the soul.  You often hear people describe their garden's as their happy place.  Beautiful shades of green, gorgeous blooms of varying colors.  Gardening also is a natural stress reliever.    Being present in the moment while gardening naturally reduces stress and anxiety.  I like to say a prayer, thanking God for his amazing beauty while gardening.  Listen to the birds, the breeze in the trees.  It can be very calming.

I know the summer is almost over, but get out in your yards, dig in the dirt.  Plant some fall plants.  Be joyful in the moment.

Be Observant - Be Present

My parents survived the depression.   My Father was incredibly frugal.   He did very well in his business but he would still haggle over acorn squash prices at a roadside stand.   He would pick up people's trash (long before Bloomington curbside pickup), fix it and either sell it or use it in our home.   He had the funds to buy whatever he wanted, but he was always frugal.

We took a lot of vacations in the car.   We didn't stay at fancy hotels, we stayed at motels (do they even exist anymore?).   I was ecstatic if we stayed at a motel that had a pool.   My oldest brother is 18 years older than I am.  I am the youngest of 4 which means I was basically an only child.   Yes, we took some big trips to Europe (to see my other brother who was stationed in the army in Germany) and to Hawaii years later when I was in high school.     But MANY of our trips were road trips.   Drive to a place, stay in a motel, drive to another place, stay in a motel until you got to your destination.

I had the backseat to myself generally and I was really good at sleeping in the car.   I still have that skill if anyone wonders.   The beauty to me was that I would fall asleep and then wake up and we would almost be there.   I thought car rides were horribly boring.  My Mother would regularly say, "Lori if you sleep the whole car ride you will miss so much!"  I wasn't buying it at the time.

My parents bought a lake home when I was 2.   I grew up at that lake home.   We were at the end of a dirt road.   We didn't have a tv.   We listened to music, we played cards, we did puzzles, we rock hunted, we explored, we fished, we swam, we played yard games, we bird watched, we boated, we grilled, we gardened, we did yard work and every day we would "go for a walk down the road".   I remember those walks usually just with my Mother very fondly.   We would talk, look for agates, watch the birds, she would point out wildflowers.   We had reference books and when we saw particular birds or flowers we would look them up and mark in the books the date and location.  We were present in the moment and always observant of what was around us and the gift of nature that God provided.

             

I learned to be observant.    I learned to listen.   I learned to watch.   Boy, how much did I miss while sleeping on those car trips?  The joy she had in finding and seeing God's creation every day was infectious.   A sense of adventure and discovery was something I cherish now. 

Fast forward to today.   

I now understand my parent's frugality.   It came from experience.   It came from fear.   We have learned to be much better stewards of our money during these trying times.

The world has slowed down.   Time is all relative now.   Our society needed this change of pace.   

Cell phones, and being constantly connected is not good.   Everyday we see people walking by our house, looking at their phones or even talking on their phones with headphones.   Why is everyone afraid of silence?   True silence doesn't exist.   While you are walking you may hear the sound of a trickling creek, or the birds singing.  Even the sound of a chainsaw or a mower brings back memories of my childhood summers.   Open your eyes.   Look at the world and the people around you.   Listen to the beautiful music God provides outside.

Our family has become more connected through this shutdown.   We are going for walks together.  We are playing games.  If I can share a little of the joy my Mother shared with me I will pass along a legacy of beauty and joy.

How To Survive High School

Ok, I am going to just put it right out there - I hated high school.  I hated all the drama, the cliques, the social issues and so much more.  Now did that mean I did not enjoy myself, no, absolutely not the case.  I had great friends and had a blast but I couldn't wait to be done with the drama and the judgement.  I had a ton of friends but I was not "popular".  Honestly, I didn't want to be popular.  I didn't run in the same circles as the athletes, the dance line, or the cheerleaders.  I was very active in my church and in music.  Band people were called "band geeks".  Need I say more.  A lot of my friends were from church.  My other friends were all 3-6 years older than me.

We won't even talk about middle school/junior high.  Wow kids are MEAN!

Now before you completely scream at me about how I wasted the best years of my life, that is completely untrue.  Or telling me that I am the judgmental person.   Not every popular person was mean, not every band kid was a geek.  I just didn't have time for the social drama regardless of the source.

I learned a lot about people and grew a lot as a person. I was very busy and had a very active social life, and yes I dated people, usually people older than me.

 The most important thing I learned was to be myself, and not let people walk all over you.

I have connected with a number of classmates in my life.  Some of them have changed, some have not.  Many I call friends.

Actually when I selected my college, I did so with the understanding that there were not many people from my high school attending.   At a social event as a Freshman in college I ran into one of the few from my high school.  He came up and introduced himself to me as a complete stranger. Now, understand I graduated with over 800 people so it is possible he may have not known me.  I pretended I didn't know who he was and he asked where I was from.  When I told him Bloomington he honestly sounded surprised and said, "are you kidding, so am I"!  He then proceeded to ask me if I was sure I didn't know him because he was (insert important position) on (insert sports team).  I smiled and said no, I didn't know you.  :)

A couple years later another high school classmate transferred from a two year college.  I got to know him and we become good friends.  He also did not have the time of day for me in high school.  I had matured slightly in a couple of years and overlooked the fact that he was one of "those people" that I really didn't care for in high school.  Our 5 year reunion was coming up and I told him I had no interest in going back to see any of those people.  He proceeded to argue and try to convince me that everyone had grown up and had changed.  He really wanted me to go so he could show me.  I decided at the 11th hour to take a friend and go.  She and I went and guess who wouldn't talk to me?  Yup, you guessed it, the same guy.  Needless to say, our friendship sort of fizzled after that.

I am now watching my children grow up and go through many of the same things that I did.  I am hoping to teach them how to love themselves first and then worry about others.  That may sound backwards but honestly I think it is a necessity.  How can you love and accept others if you don't accept and love yourself?  I see people worrying so much about how many friends they have, how popular they are, what are they wearing.  Just like when we were kids right?

My parents were older and came from a completely different generation than most of my friends' parents.  My Mother was also a stay at home Mom so we only had one income in our house.  They did not see the value in spending ridiculous amounts of money on clothing items.  They had rules, curfews, etc. that were a stricter than most of my friends.  Of course I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I do now.

We are trying to teach our children good values and how to love themselves. It has become more difficult for them than it was for us due to social media. Kids are growing up faster and moving into adult activities so much younger.

 Here are some of my guidelines.

1. God First, Family Second
2. Don't try to please everyone - you will fail
3. Do what you love and never apologize for it
4. A couple of friends you can trust with your life are better than many friends that you can't trust
5. Do not define yourself by your friends or the guy/girl you "date"
6. Be kind, always, to everyone
7. If someone doesn't like you, they don't deserve you
8. You do not need to date someone to feel good
9. When given a secret to keep, keep it
10. Surround yourself with people that have the same core beliefs and values as you

I know that my kids will make a lot of mistakes and sometimes learning on your own is the best way to learn.  That won't stop me from trying to spare them some of the hurt, the pain or the hard lessons that I learned as a kid.  I learned a lot about loving myself and being my own person from my parents.  I only hope to pass some of that knowledge along.

Our children may not like our rules right now, I know they will when they get older.

Why do we do it?  We love them more than life.  Period.

Cell Phones - Are You Kidding Me?

True confession:  I have very little tolerance for rude people.

Our society has become increasingly more rude.  There are many areas in our lives where we encounter rudeness.

• Driving
• Walking in Malls
• Parking Lots
• Weddings
• Grocery Stores
• Your Own Car!

I have many examples of these.  Today, though, I want to focus on cell phones or other electronics.  When our children were younger and we would go out for dinner, I admit, I found it easier to have conversation with my husband when the kids had games to play.  Boy do I regret that.  I am now helping them unlearn some bad habits that got significantly worse as they got older.

We have all seen the articles about how we have a generation of people that have their heads in their phones and are missing life.  There are so many things missed.  There was recently a video that was floating around on Facebook about a couple that met and married. The story was they would not have met if they had their heads in their phones!

This isn't the video I was looking for but it makes the point.
I Forgot My Phone

Ok - sorry here is another one.  Cell Phone Impact On Relationships

OH NO!  While I was looking for the original video (which I still cannot find) I came across this "lovely" clip from Rachel Ray.  How to text your ex boyfriend and get him back- Tips and advice
Are you kidding me?  Does this disgust anyone as much as it does me?  I didn't even watch it.

Look at these statistics!  You can click the Source hyperlink for information on more electronic usage.

Source

How many of you went on long road trips with your family?  The car rides seemed horrible right?  Now, looking back, they were amazing.  You saw great things, played games, sang songs and built relationships.

We are raising a generation that will stay connected with far more people than our generation.  But, they also are lacking in communication skills!  

I recently had some kids in the car.  One young person actually was on the phone when they got into the car.  There was no greeting at all.  The phone call was finished and they proceeded to start texting non-stop.  It was about a 35 minute car ride.  Almost NOTHING was said.  All you could hear was the annoying click click click of the texting.  My child that was in the car too had sat in the back seat rather than in front like they normally would.  My child conversed with me the entire trip.  NO INTERACTION with the texter.

We arrived at our location and the passenger said, "thanks for the ride".  I didn't answer.

The bright side?  We have a new rule in our car for everyone.  No texting.  End of story.  

I'll let you know how it goes when I enforce it with my kids' friends.

I challenge you as families to unplug more often.  Put the phones away, interact, learn how to enjoy each other.

I challenge you to UNPLUG!

#areyoukiddingme #bepresent #unplug #wholehealth #becomewhole

Choices - Career - Money - Family - PRIORITIES

All day, everyday we make choices.  I had a job that required quite a bit of travel when the kids were younger.  The demands were terrible, the bosses were worse.  It didn't make any difference what you had going on in your life when you were summoned you said, "how high?".

When my son was younger, here is what the conversations were like.

Day One
 - Hi Mommy how was your day?  (Excited voice)
Day Two
- Hi Mamma how was your day?  (A little deflated)
Day Three
- Hi Mamma when are you coming home?  (Weepy)

Everyday I see posts on people's Facebook pages checking in at airports, travelling here, missing their kid's events, saying things like, "Living the Dream"!  Seriously how can you think this is "Living the Dream"?  I was one of those people.  

Let me tell you a secret:  BUSINESS TRAVEL IS NOT GLAMOROUS.

I remember one year at an event my daughter was playing in a championship softball game and I wasn't there.  Another executive summons required me to have lunch with my husband on our anniversary on our way to the airport.  He wasn't coming with me.  My daughter had a significant female moment and I had to get on a plane for a meeting summons.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  No paycheck is worth all that.  I won't judge you.  Ok, maybe I will.  Family is one of the most important things. Us old folks all know the Cat Steven's song, Cat's In The Cradle.  For you young people...

Cats in the Cradle
Listen Here
by Harry Chapin
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking before I knew it and as he grew
He said, "I’m gonna be like you, Dad, 
You know I’m gonna be like you"

And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin home, dad, I don’t know when, 
But we'll get together then, Son,
You know we'll have a good time then.

My son turned ten just the other day
He said "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on lets play 

can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today, 

I got a lot to do" He said "That's okay" 
And then he walked away but his smile never dimmed 
And said "I’m gonna be like him, yeah
You know I’m going to be like him"

Well he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile

"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"


And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Son, I don't know when, 
But we'll get together then, Dad,
You know we'll have a good time then.

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day........
I said "I'd like to see you if you don’t mind"
He said "I'd love to Dad, if I could find the time.
You see my new jobs a hassle, and the kids have the flu.
But It's sure nice talking to you, Dad, 
It's been sure nice talking to you........"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me,
My boy was just like me..............


And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Son, I dot know when, 
But we'll get together then, Dad
We're gonna have a good time then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have lived this song.  As a result I had the opportunity to leave big corporate America and help my husband grow his business.  I MADE THE LEAP OF FAITH.  He owned a trade show exhibit company, Total Displays.  

TOTAL DISPLAYS       

We made a choice that our family was more important than a paycheck.  

Has it been easy?  NO.    

We have struggled financially.  Our earnings were cut by more than 50%.  Our expenses were not automatically cut by that.  We had to learn to live together, love together and work together.  We have cut way back on "things" (that is a bonus).  It is sometimes scary.

Was it worth it?  YES

We have been able to be at 90+% of our children's events.  We drive them to school, and pick them up after school.  We learned many valuable lessons about what was important.   We have become closer!

I even started a home based business based on a passion I have for helping people.  It has already helped us financially in less than a year.  Soon that will start being a significant part of our income. 

MY HOME BUSINESS

Don't complain about your job, about travelling for work, about missing kids events, IT IS A CHOICE.  

~Blessings & Abundance

#family #choices #bewhole