Milestones

 Life is full of many milestones. We measure progress and growth with many different steps and stages in life.  This is especially true when you have children. You know, the height measurement on the wall or the back of the door?  Not every person decides to become a parent.  Parenting is certainly not for the faint of heart. I can remember my Mother telling me that life would be very lonely when you get older if you don't have children. I didn't understand that, but I am beginning to see that. Why are we in such a hurry to grow up and then we want to slow down the aging process?

When you become a parent, your world changes. You are responsible for the life of another being. I remember so many changes when I became pregnant. I didn't like flying much anymore. It wasn't just my life; I was responsible for another life! 

I remember being pregnant. I was NOT a good pregnant person. Control freaks don't do well when hormones make you out of control. As we were setting up the nursery, I remember sitting on the floor, listening to a CD of baby lullaby music and crying my eyes out. I wasn't sad. I was overwhelmed with what was ahead of us. When I first held you, I thought my heart would burst. You cannot understand or comprehend that love. It is different than loving your parents, your siblings or even your spouse. That tiny person is a part of you. That tiny person holds your heart. The depth of that love is beyond comprehension.

Not to gloss over the process, but you measure that life in a series of milestones.

1. Birth
2. Baptism
3. Kindergarten 
4. 1st Grade
5. Jr. High/Middle School
6. Confirmation
7. First Dance
8. First Date
9. High School
10. Driver's License 
11. Graduation
12. College (for those choosing to attend)
13. Graduation
14. First Apartment
15. First Full Time Job

All of a sudden you get to this place, and you don't know how you got here. How did it happen so quickly. Where did our baby girl go?

Celebrate the milestones and treasure the moments. There are no more toys in our tub or on the living room floor.  Grandma's annoyingly loud PT Cruiser toy is no more. Singing on the fireplace with the toy microphone is silent. No one shouts, 'naked naked naked' before bath time. Her room is empty, but the house and my heart are full of memories.

I remember when Elsie was learning to drive. One day I looked over at her and realized that her driving meant that someday, she would drive away and out of our home. You know that is the logical step in life, but I don't know if you can ever prepare for that. 

Last Friday was the 5-year anniversary of us moving Elsie into college. She went a full year early and we knew she was ready. It didn't make it easy, but we knew she was ready to fly. 

On Saturday we hit another major milestone.

SHE SAID YES. 

Elsie is engaged. To see the joy in her face and the love in her heart melted my heart. We know her, inside and outside and both are beautiful.  She has all the best traits of her Dad and me, and some of our not so good traits. She is her own, unique and amazing person. She is loving, generous, demanding, fierce, caring, talented, opinionated (maybe a little pig headed), incredibly smart, driven, competitive, she talks loudly, nosey, she loves with her whole being, and she is maybe a little high maintenance (it takes one to know one). She was doomed with two over achiever, perfectionist parents.  But we love all the parts of her and are so thankful she found someone that also loves all the parts of her.

    

We are thankful for Noah and his love for Elsie.  Blessings to you both on your journey.

This came in my email today and seemed appropriate to share.

The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that.

Cheryl Strayed

A Village/A Community

 People need people. Even introverts need people. Yup I said it. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but let's face it everyone deserves to be loved and needs to feel love, compassion and even companionship. The last two years have been so hard for so many people. Families have been separated and torn apart. Friends were restricted to not being face to face. Businesses were not face to face with their clients. People were and many still are working from home, alone. 

A beloved introvert said to me the other day, I don't think Covid was good for me. What he meant was that he liked being with people even less than he did before. Social media and the divisive nature of our society doesn't help that at all. The number of people judging people and rejecting people for personal beliefs of all sorts is unprecedented.

Your village, or your community could be a group of friends, your church, your co-workers, your neighbors or even your family. Your village/community does not have to be huge; it can be a few trusted people in your lives. If you have been a part of a community and felt that support and love, you know exactly what I mean.

When you lose that community, or have to leave that community, you may not realize the hole in your life. Trust me, it is there. 

We recently ran into a couple that was part of a former village/community for my family. It had been probably 10 years since I had seen them. IT WAS SO WONDERFUL to see them. It triggered a lot of memories.

As we chatted, we found out they were still part of the physical location that is that community, but they felt over the years the community had been destroyed by its' current leadership. It broke my heart. At the same time, it made me realize that I was missing that community. I was missing that village.  The people, yes, but more the feeling, the comfort, the trust that these people would have your back if you needed it.

If you have that community anywhere, hold on to it. It is precious. It is important. 

It appears it may be time to go on a soul-searching adventure. I need to find that sense of community again. Maybe I can bless someone else that also is feeling that they are without community.