We live in a very wooded area. Our deck is a playground for gray squirrels, red squirrels, chipmunks and the occasional raccoon. Every fall the deck looks like an oak tree and acorn war zone. Those darn squirrels go up in the oak trees and don't just take 1 or 2 acorns. They snip of the entire branch tip and let it fall to the ground. Most of those end up on our deck.
I'm sure you are on the edge of your seat wondering what smashing acorns have to do with irony, bullies and arrogance. Your brain is an amazing tool. We can't even begin to fathom the power of the mind.
Years ago, in another life, when I was part owner of a software development and distribution company, I discovered the joy of smashing acorns. As a business owner, the workday never stopped at 5. I would often be on the phone, working on billing reports, putting together proposals and so much more. I also often worked from home. If I was on a particularly long phone call or conference call, I found huge and strange stress relief in pacing back and forth on my deck and stepping on the acorns. The crunch of the nut and/or the top shell was weirdly satisfying.
I came home last Friday and found myself on a call and I went out to the deck. I honestly had forgotten about stepping on the acorns and there they were, waiting for me! It had been a very challenging day with multiple deadlines, problems with orders etc. I started stepping on those acorns and remembering.
There may have been a really good reason that I had forgotten about stepping and smashing those acorns. Your brain is an amazing thing and often will protect you from things you had long forgotten. Friday, my mind quickly went back to a day I was on the phone and smashing acorns.
I had gotten a call from a business consultant/coach our company had hired at about 6 pm. I don't remember the specific details of the call with a few exceptions. It was a very difficult call. He was telling me what a horrible person I was and ALL the things he thought were wrong with me. He told me I was never going to succeed (ok maybe that was my interpretation). At the time of the call, I found my head spinning, I was totally taken off guard and I found myself trying to defend myself.
At one point in the call (here is the irony), he said that I reminded him of himself. He told me that he felt (no one asked him to do this) that he needed to break me down so that he could build me back up. Yup. He told me that after about an hour of beating the crap out of me telling how useless I was. Can you imagine the ego and arrogance required to do that to someone?
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So, long story short... I believe very strongly in the power of the brain and memories. Scents or smells are the most common, the smell of a certain perfume or cologne, baking bread or cookies, they can bring back a flood of memories. Sounds, like music, certain hymns or songs from your first dance also have strong ties to memories.
This is the first time I have experienced a physical memory. The stepping on those acorns in addition to the sound of the crunch, took me back to that phone call with that "business coach" and the horrible things he said to me to "break me down, in order to build me up." Please, don't ever do that to someone. I don't care how well intentioned you are, it is horrible.
You may wonder how that all ended up? We fired him. My next call was to one of my business partners. I needed to know if he knew the "coach" was going to do that. He said he did not. Thankfully my partner had my back and agreed it was not helpful, productive or kind.
On Friday, when that memory came up, I was able to let it all go. I guess you could say I forgave him, but I also know how much of a success I am and that he did not destroy me or my future. I didn't let him.
Never underestimate the power of your brain.
