Really, really, really, feeling weird. I tried to have a rational conversation with my teenage daughter in the morning. That is a bit of an oxymoron in it's own right. Let's just say it did not go well. At all. Actually it was horrible. We both ended up yelling and I started crying and seriously could not stop!!!!! All day long I was weepy. I walked out on my choir kids at church on Wednesday night. I found I was really missing my Mom. When the Pastor (a long time friend) at church gave me a hug I just about lost it. When the girls I had walked out on in choir came up to join the confirmation band I hugged them and got all teary eyed. I am sure there were more. I WAS A MESS!
I reached out to Isa in my Young Living family. She has done this cleanse before. I asked her if this was normal. Normal is not usually a word that I would use to describe myself but I felt completely out of control. She explained to me that we carry a lot of our emotional baggage in our liver and that the Master Cleanse was detoxifying your liver! So all those emotions were being released. She suggested some great emotional essential oils and a baking soda/epsom salt bath. I used some Joy, Frankincense and Believe. I felt better almost immediately. Of course that wasn't until we got home at about 10:00 p.m. that night. What a day!
While we were at our son's baseball game I had a huge realization. I said to my husband, "I'm hungry" then I said, "no I'm not hungry, I just WANT food". Wow - I said. I eat, not because I am hungry, but because... because why? Why do I eat? Emotional satisfaction, boredom, stress, frustration. Oh yeah - all those reasons. None of those are the right reasons! What a mental breakthrough for me.
Ask yourself, what is your relationship with food. I have in previous journey's identified my bewitching hour. This is the period right after I get home from school with the kids. Usually about 3:30 p.m. I almost binge eat during that time. Am I really hungry? Probably not, there is some trigger, an emotional release that the work day is mostly over? I don't know. But identifying those triggers have been key for me learning more about my relationship with food.
For some reason yesterday while I was driving, I noticed the skin on my hands. The top of my hands were wrinkled and I felt like they belonged to a 100 year old. I have very long fingers and always thought I had beautiful hands. I was kind of sad to notice the signs of aging in my hands. How is that for a random thought and observation. See below for more on this.
Day 4
Oh my....
I woke up this morning and felt absolutely horrible. Beyond horrible. I was clammy, nauseous, and shaky. Of course my family started on the, "you need to eat today", "this diet isn't healthy" routine. I made a lemonade and drank it on the way to school. I started feeling better almost immediately.
As I was thinking through the chaos that was yesterday. I believe I only had 3 cups of the lemonade. I am sure my blood sugar was way way way way out of whack and that is why I felt so horrible.
I pinged Isa (what a lifesaver she has been through this process). She agreed I needed to drink more and I needed to do a "salt flush". Here is my recommendation if you decide to try the salt flush in your journey. DON'T BE FAR FROM THE BATHROOM. Holy crap! Literally - Holy Crap. I have never gone to the bathroom so much. Of course, I guess, that is what you are supposed to do. That is a good thing. You are cleaning everything out.
I was just about ready to move a table in the bathroom and just work in there. Seriously crazy stuff.
While at work today, an employee said to me that she thought my skin looked brighter and clearer. I hadn't noticed but I looked at my hands. Seriously - they looked better! Cleaning out your systems, ingesting a lot of clean water all seem to be making a difference. I actually read a review from someone that thought that their eyes looked bluer when they had completed the 10 days.
Drinking my tea, hoping to sleep through the night. Stay tuned.
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