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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

An Open Letter To Any Boy That Might Like (in any way) My Daughter

An Open Letter To Any Boy That Might Like (in any way) My Daughter

Dear Young Man (Young being the operative word, you are still very young):

My daughter is one of the MOST PRECIOUS things to me on this earth.  She is competitive, kind, loving, funny, talented, giving, pig headed and yes sometimes annoying.  Aren't we all?  One of the things I have been trying to teach her is how to surround herself with people that truly care for her and are kind to her.  That is a hard lesson for young teenage girls to learn.  Just as we have expectations of our children, we have expectations of their friends.  Sorry - that is just the way it is.

Dating.  I personally believe "dating" at this age (14) is ridiculous.  But I understand it is a right of passage and learning that you all must go through.  I don't have to like it.  What I will tell you is that you will NOT be in a house by yourself with my daughter.  If she is invited to your house, I will call your parents to ask them if I can send anything along with Elsie ;)  Read between the lines, YOUR PARENT(S) MUST BE HOME.  No, in case you ask, older siblings do not count as parents.

Respect.  This is a word that is very difficult for young people to understand.  Respect means so many things.  I wish I could just say, "Treat my daughter with respect" and you would understand but I am sure you will not.  So I will make you a list.  Please keep in mind that this list may change over time.  Don't worry, I'll update it here for you so that you can refer back to it.
  • Kindness - be kind to her, use nice words, don't talk about her behind her back, don't talk with her friends about her, - oh my this could go on for ever
  • Honesty - pretty simple really - DON'T LIE
  • Trustworthy - if you say you are going to do something, do it
  • Pictures - ok this might be embarrassing to you - don't ever ask her to send you an inappropriate picture. If you do, I will hunt you down!
  • Social Media - let me just say, I follow my daughter on all social media sites.  I will request to follow you.  If you do not allow me to follow you, I will wonder what you are hiding.  It comes with the territory of being a Mother.  Get over it.
  • Pictures2 - If you do decline me, be aware, I have her passwords and I OWN HER PHONE, COMPUTER ETC.  I do look and if you post anything inappropriate, see the first Pictures post for the consequence.
  • Talk - texting seems to be a necessary evil for this generation.  Talking is important.  You can't have any kind of relationship, friendship or other without talking.  
  • Listen - girls that are 14 seem to have a lot of issues.  Sometimes you just need to listen.
  • Supportive - Support her activities.  You will win huge brownie points with all of us in her family (especially her) if you show up to watch a softball game or a concert!
  • Nasty - I know how boys minds work.  I get it.  But don't text nasty things about my daughter to your buddies or to her friends.  She won't like it and I can guarantee you I won't like it either.  You don't want to know what her Dad will do if he finds out!
  • Parents - this is really my rule.  I really am not that scary (Dad may be but I am not).  Be polite to me (and her Dad), talk to me, say please and thank you especially if you are at my house.  Oh and I am Mrs. Hanken to you unless I give you permission otherwise.
  • Little Brother -Our daughter has a brother that is 2.5 years younger than her.  He means the world to her.  If you treat him badly it will not go well for you.
  • Family - This is one of the most important thing in our house.  If you talk smack about anyone in her family (See Little Brother) you are not respecting her.
  • Apologize - We are all human.  We all make mistakes.  You will make mistakes.  If you are wrong (and even sometimes if you are not) apologize.  It will take you far in life.
  • Physical - If you EVER HIT HER, you are done.  We have ZERO TOLERANCE for this type of behavior.  It shouldn't have to be said, but I know many people who have suffered abuse.  If you do we will file charges if we are able.
If our daughter likes you, we want to like you.  Please make it easy for us.

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