The Fat and Flab Will Be Flying AKA - I Want To Cry - A Wellness Journey Post #4

Oh man, oh man, oh man.  Yesterday was brutal.  I went to class at 6:30.  This is the High Intensity class I am doing.  I think Oz must have had some extra caffeine.  The first class he gave us at least one small break for water and about 5 minutes of active stretching at the end of class.  Not yesterday!

We did not stop moving.  Again, I was in the pathetic group (that was a group of 1 mind you).  I just couldn't keep the pace with those that have been exercising more faithfully.  I know that is expected, but I am a tad bit competitive and it is so hard for me to be last...


We did a lot of upper body and core.  Core?  What core?  I have flab not core.  Seriously at one point after an ab exercise I was lying on the floor and wanted to cry.

I don't know why I thought after 3 days of working out that I would have more energy and be better prepared for class yesterday.  Boy was I mistaken.  I really struggled.

Ok, enough whining.  Sometimes crying is a good thing.  I stepped on the scale this morning and I am down 7 pounds since Sunday morning.  Ok, I know, it is all water weight.  Just don't tell me all the things to burst my bubble ok?    At this point do we care?  Just seeing the scale move makes me want to cry for joy!

 Oz must be a mind reader or he could just see my frustration and complete physical exhaustion.  He came over during one of the exercises called the matrix (I REALLY HATE THIS ONE).  He told me, "Just do as many as you can."    

After class, I asked him why I felt my performance was worse than even my first class.  He reminded me of something very important.

1. I am very low carb right now.  I don't eat many carbs at all and they are all before noon.  My energy stores will be pretty low, but I am still burning fat and increasing my endurance.

BUT then here came the next conversation.  He is big on engaging the core and building core in everything you do.  Remember my post about all the fit people in tight spandex?  He says with my loose exercise clothing he can't see my back or abs to make sure I am engaging my core correctly.  He wants me to wear tighter clothes.

Hah - tighter clothes won't be an issue.  Seriously all my clothes are tight right now (I refuse to buy what I call fat clothes).  But let me tell you the fat and flab will be flying during class.  I really don't know if I can do this.  Seriously don't know if I can.  I don't like my body right now.  Please don't tell me I need to love my body no matter what.  Please!  I love myself.  But I don't have to love my body right now.

I want to cry!  How do you think this will look (trying to deal with this with a little humor may help?)  I think people will run screaming from the gym.  Anyone know where I can find something like this?  I think that would keep Oz from asking me to wear tighter clothes.

Here is good news - fat is flying off my body at a fast rate right now.  I know I won't continue to lose this much at this pace but I am thankful for that.  Now I guess my flab will be flying and bouncing around for the whole world to see.  I promise I will not post photos or videos!!!

Please send me positive thoughts on this one.  Who would have thought that what I wear to exercise would be the hardest part of the journey.

I WILL DO THIS