You Don't Sweat Much For A Fat Girl- Day 7

There is a clarity that comes with juicing for me.   Maybe it is the massive simplification of your diet that gives you the opportunity to look at things.   I don't really know.   I was visiting with my sister yesterday about eating habits and how they are formed by your parents and your childhood.

Somewhere along the line, I became uncomfortable with my weight and/or my body.  I was skinny for many many years.   I was actually skinny for more of my life than I have been overweight (not using the word fat - that word is ugly to me).  In high school I was 5'11" and weighed 130 pounds.   Far from overweight.  I put on the proverbial 5 pounds in college.  Yes it was only 5 because we walked and biked everywhere!   I was still far from overweight. 

That's me sitting behind the piano in high school.  Of course none of my high school photos are digital.  I'll have to look for some to scan.   The sad thing?  I don't like pictures now and I don't let anyone take my picture.

I remember high school, when I would sit on the sofa, with friends, I would always put a pillow in my lap over my stomach.   I don't know why, but I still do it to this day.   I also remember my Mother always wanting me to buy clothes that were too big for me.   I remember clearly buying a skirt and jacket and her telling me that I was a big girl and needed a large size.   Keep in mind sizes have changed over the years.  What was a 14 is probably now a 12 or even a 10  She wanted me to buy size 16's.  The skirts were always too big and the jacket was baggy.

Here is an article showing the evolution of women's clothing sizes.   http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3198374/Chart-reveals-clothing-sizes-changed-past-60-years-shows-size-12-Marilyn-Monroe-00-8-today.html

I don't know why she thought I needed a larger size than what fit me.  Don't get me wrong.  I am not blaming her.  She was not doing anything to hurt me.   Here is another good one.  I had a boyfriend in college that thought it was really funny to say, "You don't sweat much for a fat girl."   I dated a guy after college that told me, "I don't mean to offend you, but your arms don't look good in a sleeveless shirt."   Anytime someone starts a sentence with, 'I don't mean to offend you,' it probably shouldn't be said.

So... long and the short.  Did all these things affect me?   I really don't know.   But acknowledging all those things can only help me.   I release that past completely.   I am where I am.  I am beautiful.  I am loved.  I am worthy.   I am making changes for me because I am worthy,  not because of my past.

Day 7 is just about over.   I will weigh and take measurements in the morning to see the results of week one. 

#IAMWORTHY
#THISISMYJOURNEY